Lia Thomas, the biological male who went swimming as a female and shattered every record in NCAA history, has officially petitioned the US Olympic Committee for a spot on the Women’s National Team.

“That’s not an option,” answered Committee Chair Joe Barron, “But you are welcome to try out for the men’s team.”

In the women’s division, Thomas was slated to be the number one seed in all competitions she decided to enter. As a male, he will have an uphill battle, placing about 7,106th out of the gate, a score more likely to get him a nice offer from a Catholic High School.

Thomas plans to appeal the decision to the International Committee, which gives us the opportunity to cover this again with a slightly different headline.

“It’s not fair,” the athlete told Vanity Fair, “all I want to do is prove to the world that someone who went through puberty as a man and then decided to be female is no different from a female. There’s no way I could possibly be the extreme end of what should be a non-existent issue, but I refuse to see that dropping out might actually have been better for the trans movement than putting someone they were sure to use as the standard front and center of the debate.”

Wow. She sure does seem to have a firm grasp on things. God Bless America.