Wife receives a divorce letter from husband, her reply is brilliant

When you fall in love with someone, you usually believe it’s forever. The reality is that things don’t always turn out as expected and people get separated all the time.

When one husband decided to untie the knot with his wife, he though it would be less painful if he just writes her a letter, explaining why he wanted to leave her. However, he never assumed his decision would backfire on him, as his witty wife’s reply taught him a lesson. This is nothing less than brilliant and hilarious!

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.

Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxerss.

You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.

Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.

I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.

I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!

Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.

Related Posts

Most people don’t know what a tongue piercing means.

Why do some people get their tongue pierced? Is it for style, self-expression, or a hidden meaning? Though today it’s often seen as a trend, tongue piercing…

Longtime WaPo Columnist Accuses Jill Biden Of Elder Abuse

Sally Quinn, a longtime Washington Post columnist, accused First Lady Jill Biden of “elder abuse” for encouraging President Joe Biden to seek re-election despite his health issues….

My Dad Kicked Me Out for Marrying a Poor Man

The day my father disowned me is burned into my memory. His words, “If you go through with this, you’re no longer my daughter,” echoed in my…

Jerry Seinfeld faced walkout protest over Israel support

Any comedian will tell you that facing a silent audience is rough — but being actively walked out on? That’s another level of cold. Yet that’s exactly…

Alleged ‘Gatekeepers’ In

The Department of Justice is actively investigating the use of an autopen to issue presidential pardons during the final days of the previous administration. Ed Martin, the…

Immigration Facility

A spokesperson from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) stated that any individual—regardless of position—who interferes with federal immigration enforcement operations could face legal consequences, including…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *