Lemon’s Husband Files For Divorce

When it rains, it pours, they say. And they might have made that up just for unemployed talking head Don Lemon.

After his despicable firing last week due to misogynistic statements made during an interview segment of his former show, Lemon was given his walking papers, after a review by the CNN Board of Directors. Then this morning, an unwelcome bit of news joined in.

“He got divorce proceeding papers right at his front door there,” reported his neighbor Joe Barron, pointing at the nine-bedroom residence. “He started to cry and I felt pretty bad for him. That is, until I remembered that he borrowed my weed eater. Never have it back, the dick.”

Lemon’s ersatz soon-to-be ex-husband Amadeus Rock, brother of the entertainer Kid, has remained fairly mum on the firing business, but apparently chose to end his partnership with the 57-year old pundit by legal means.

According to the papers, Amadeus wants the house, at least five of the cars in Lemon’s Aztec collection, and approximately $7,000,000 per month in compensation. That’s quite a drop of cabbage water.

Custody of the couple’s two children, Missy and Pissy, has not yet been discussed, although Don is known to be very close to the latter. Sad.

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