Alyssa Milano is not happy about the happenings at her house on Golden Globes night. After a relatively boring evening, she retired with an exclusive list of friends for a night of hanging out, drinking expensive booze, and listening to hipster music. Things were going according to the boring plan until Ted Nugent showed up with Kid Rock.

According to our guy on the ground, Skip Tetheludah, half the guests left while the other half had “the time of their lives.” The pair played drinking games. knocked “White Rabbit” out of the park on the karaoke machine, and beat the high scores on several vintage video games.

Now the actress says she’s suing Nugent, who her attorney, Thomas Bagger, said was the instigator all along. The Nuge took to Telegram and Gab to let his fans know the real story:

“Alyssa is just upset about our fling outside the Cat Scratch Fever Tour in that blue pickle bus in 1986.”

Some pointed out that in 1986, Alyssa Milano was the number one crush of 15-year-old boys. Others pointed out that she was born in 1972 so she would have been 14. At what point does this girl need to be held responsible for her actions?

Back at the party, Seth Rogan told this reporter there was a good chance Milano “got herself dicked down by Matt Damon,” a feather in any Hollywood actor or actress’s cap. Just ask Ben Affleck.

Milano’s case is sure to go nowhere, but it sure was fun making it happen to this point. God bless America.